February 2012
The Good:
I had a great hair day.
Earned a sig, planned a few and earned quite a few posts.
I have my dorm to myself this weekend.
The Bad:
I am behind in anthropology and I have a test in there Monday.
My monroe is kind of sore.
I’m behind in KKY sigs.
The Ugly:
My room. It’s a fucking wreck.
My makeup has sort of gone to shit.
My desk area. Like, there is no clear space on...
My stress level is through the roof.
I don’t think people understand how desperately I want to just hang out and have fun. The fact that I can’t is starting to really, really upset me. So, rather than going to Joey’s later, which is the only place I want to be, I’ll just study. For TBS. And anthropology. And ear training. And maybe if I have time I can actually pick a solo that I have to perform in a month and...
Not entirely sure what I was thinking.
I made my bed and now I must sleep in it.
Or whatever that bullshit American proverb is.
I can never make a decision and stick with it. Doubt inevitably ensues for vast, torturing amounts of time.
I now have all my posts and extra from most TBS members for the week.
This means I can study.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE THRILLED.
/brb /geeking out
I honestly just want to give up.
OVERWHELMED.
I need silence.
I need my phone to be off.
I need a bubble bath.
I need my Dad.
I need a movie night.
But mainly silence.
I have got to get some fucking silence.
Facts:
I love David Joseph Kidd.
He (Joey) is my best friend and I wouldn’t change our story for anything.
At times, he makes me want to curb stop newborn babies, but I quickly look and see that half the problem is myself.
I am tired of being asked on dates and flirted with. First of all, I don’t have time for that shit. Secondly, I’m working on mending things with the aforementioned...
"The attention they get from you is the type of...
My perspective has just been completely widened and turned around.
And I basically feel like a piece of bacteria on the bottom suckers that feed on the scum. Or lower than the bacteria. The germ that creates the bacteria. Lower. The single, disease ridden cell that generates the germ.
Study/homework/girly session with two MC's in my...
I love my girls. Coffee and tea out the whazzoo and then Wii party in an hour and a half. Let’s hope I get my theory done, yes?
"You are gorgeous and great at your worst, but at...
I really just want a cigarette and a cup of tea.
Those are my simple pleasures.
I have these moments of bursts of energy that get me through the day.
And then I have those moments where fatigue and exhaustion and stress hit me like a train.
Currently, I’m experiencing the latter. And I have a headache.
It /will/ get better. Always does. Chin up, head high, you got this.
Update:
I’m halfway through my posts for the week.
I am now TBS MC Class 2012 Captain.
I’m currently caught up or ahead in all classes, but I still don’t have time to sleep.
I think that’s it. All I have time for. Tootles, followers! <3
All I want is to be home.
Wish I were with you I couldn’t stay Every direction Leads me away Pray for tomorrow But for today All I want is to be home Stand in the mirror You look the same Just lookin’ for shelter From cold and the pain Someone to cover Safe from the rain All I want is to be home Echoes and silence Patience and grace All of these moments I’ll never replace No fear of my...
People annoy me.
People really, really annoy me.
Interesting tidbit:
The ULTIMATE summer song for me, the ultimate carefree, no worries, driving with the windows down, summer rainshower song?
“Soul Meets Body” - Death Cab For Cutie
It came on shuffle and my body instantly detensed and relaxed. There may have even been an audible, “Aaaahh” in there. Who knows?
megamegmeg:
I need a break. From everything. Music is all I need right now.
I can't lose sight of why I want this.
I don’t know how to keep going on like this. I’m behind in all my classes. I miss my friends and my mom and my dad. I miss practicing. I miss having lunch with Alex and Sigrid. I miss Alex Williams. I miss sleep. I miss feeling sane. I miss being still. I miss being able to relax in the shower and not repeating all my memorization tasks. I miss not being a shell of myself.
Part of me just wants to go back to that rooftop...
I think that’s the only time in months and months that I didn’t have one single care or concern. It lasted for only a few moments, but still, there it was. I envy those moments.
Give me love like never before, ‘cause lately I’ve been craving more, And it’s been a while but I still feel the same, Maybe I should let you go, You know I’ll fight my corner, And that tonight I’ll call ya, After my blood is drowning in alcohol, No I just wanna hold ya.